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Groundhog Blanks - What a Groundhog Day by Kylie

You wake up on Groundhog Day 2007, and take a Honda Civic down to see Pittsburgh Jeffery the Great(est), your favorite Capy weather predictor, provide their Groundhog Day forecast. The ceremony is taking place outside Hotel California Poopy Griddy-ing.

When you arrive at the ceremony you see your neighbor Kendall and say "Hey Kendall, Smelly Groundhog Day!"

"Hey, Kylie, Smelly Groundhog Day to you as well! Are you here to see the Capy?" Kendall asks.

"Yes, Indeed I am, Kendall. Do you think it's going to be a Barf Summer?" you wonder.

"I'm predicting July 21st" they respond.

"You know, I think that actually IS the first day of Summer" you say.

At that very moment you hear the sound of a Viola. This indicates the Groundhog Day ceremony is about to start.

You and Kendall join the crowd.

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Keegan, the head Capy wrangler begins to speak. "Flirtatious morning everyone! Welcome to the A million bizillion trillionth annual Pittsburgh Groundhog Day ceremony! In a minute we'll bring out Pittsburgh Jeffery the Great(est). If Jeffery the Great(est) sees their shadow there will be Seven more weeks of Winter. If Jeffery the Great(est) does not see their shadow, there will be a Barf Summer."

Keegan then walks over to Jeffery the Great(est)'s home, pulls them out, and holds Jeffery the Great(est) over their Brains.

The crowd cheers "Jeffery the Great(est). Jeffery the Great(est). Jeffery the Great(est)."

Keegan then puts Jeffery the Great(est) back down on the ground. The crowd goes silent. Jeffery the Great(est) sees their shadow and runs back into their Research paper.

The crowd simultaneously boos and cheers.

"Well Kendall, I guess there's going to be Seven more weeks of winter" you say.

"Yes, Kylie, I'm not too Fat about that" Kendall replies.

"Well there's always the other One eighth Groundhog Day forecasters. Maybe they'll predict something different" you mention.

"That's true. Do you want to get some Cat and then go to to check on the other predictions?" Kendall asks.

"Sure" you mumble.

You and Kendall go over to China house and have a good meal. You then spend the rest of the day refreshing the Groundhog Day predictions page. At the end of the day most of the Groundhog Day predictors have called for a Barf Summer.

You spend the rest of the evening singing Groundhog Day carols, eating groundhog shaped Dog, and watching Groundhog Day movies.

As you go to bed that evening, you think to yourself: "What a Barf Groundhog Day this has been!"


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